Ok…so… In a way, this is a catch up blog.  And since Shep and Tim have been nagging like a bunch of little old ladies (no offense little old ladies) I’ll make it a long one.  First of all Tiff, Mom, Dad, and I went out to a sportsman club west of town Saturday and decided that we are going to have the reception there.  It’s a nice place, even though it is a little retro, and I really think we’ll get some great pictures out behind the place because they have a huge pond that is surrounded by prairie grass and wildflowers with a bridge crossing the narrowest part.  So, ya, one more thing to check off of the wedding list (for those of you that don’t know me I will fill you in with another blog).

After we got back home my day got even better when I checked my email and found out that I got an internship!!!  I’m super excited about this one too.  It is at a huge church (scary stuff but I know God wants me there) and it is only about 75 miles from home so I will be able to see Tiff more than if I were to go further away.  Again, I’m REALLY excited about this one because I think it is where God wants me.  I wish I had more to tell you all about but I’ll just have to keep you informed as I work out the details with my field mentor and Rondel.

Now on the the bad (which I must remind myself that God is in control of as well).  For those who do not know, my grandma (Mom’s mom) has brest cancer.  We just found out a few weeks about it and they decided to start her on chemo already to try to shrink the tumor so they can operate.  The whole things sucks, to be totally brutal and honest.  I hate it, it makes me angry, it makes me sick that such a sweet, caring (and I’m not just saying that because she is my grandma) woman has to go through this crap.  I think the hardest thing about cancer for me is that it seems to be such a roulette type disease.  I mean, do we even understand it, really?  It scares me, honestly.  Not only and I worried about my grandma, but I worry about Mom, about my sister, about my whole family (including myself).

But…I know that, in the end, God is in control of it all.  He’s in control of my good news and my bad news.  He’s in control of everything.  He can heal cancer, he can teach us to love.  There is a whole month’s worth of blogging here but to sum it up, I want to learn… I want to read and study by Bible until I find out the answer to this question that I have about healing.  I know God can heal, but will He always heal?  I don’t know what to say to a sick person when it seems to them that God doesn’t hear their prayers.  I want to know how to answer someone who says that if you have faith that God will heal you, you’re a fool.  I don’t want every question answer, just for God to guide me in this so that when I am in ministry I know where he has guided me.  So that is where I am at.  I am convinced that the only thing that I can do in this situation is show my grandma the kind of love that God wants me too and pray fervently every day for God to heal her of this disease.  And that’s just what I’ve been doing.  Tiffany and I pray for her everyday, expecting God to change reality (yes I said it and I will continue to say it boldly until I am lead to say otherwise through Scripture).  That’s what I learned today.  Love and believe in expectation that God is going to do something great.  I’ll keep trying if you will.

Peace, love, and God’s blessings to all of you…