We sharpen the saw when we renew the physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual aspects or dimension of our lives (288).  Physically we take time each day to maintain our bodies.  This means exercise, healthy eating, and conditioning our bodies so that we can perform at our peak levels.  The returns for a short amount of exercise are incredible.  I know that whenever I have stayed committed to a regular exercise program I feel more energetic, motivated, and I eat much healthier than when I neglect to exercise.  Without exercise, muscles atrophy, our heart rates increase, and toxins build in our bodies that can cause severe long-term side effects.

            Spiritual exercise is important as well.  In fact, I would say as a Christian that spiritual exercise is most important.  A daily routine (not to sound legalistic or too dogmatic) of spiritual renewal gives great new outlook to our days.  Like exercise, I know that when I connect daily with God, I feel as if I have a better outlook on my day and I tend to be more in tune with what God is asking of me that day.  So often, we let our schedules dictate what our lives will look like.  For example, when I have some place to be I will get up about one hour before I must be there.  This usually gives me just enough time to get ready and get there (usually at the last minute).  However, if I were to transfer some of the time from quadrant three and four activities and turn that in to the quadrant two activity of connecting with God daily, I would be willing to bet that I would see significant results and that God would be more than willing to teach me in those times.

            Sharpening the saw is about renewing you mind as well.  This is where my focus is right now with school (294).  However, I must maintain that once I leave this campus.  It is my goal never to cease learning.  If my college experience has conditioned me for anything it is to continue learning both on my own and formally.  On my own, I will continue to read material that stretches and exercises my mind for ministry, philosophy, theology, etc.  I also plan to continue my formal education in seminary, growing as both a disciple and a teacher.

            Finally, sharpening the saw means renewing our social/emotional dimensions (297).  According to Covey, “Renewing our social/emotional dimension does not take time in the same sense that renewing the other dimensions does.  We can do it in our normal everyday interactions with other people.  Bit it definitely requires exercise.  We may have to push ourselves because many of us have not achieved the level of Private Victory and the Skills of Public Victory necessary for Habits 4,5, and 6 to come naturally to us in all our interactions” (297).  We can sharpen the saw in our relationships by practicing the previous three habits.  This, in turn, promotes emotional health and contributes back into all of the habits in a reciprocal manner.

            Sharpening the saw means continually improving in what Covey calls the upward spiral.  Renewal takes place in the process of learning, committing, and doing that Covey ascribes to the spiral.  The seven habits are a life-long process.  We must strive to live them out every day.  We cannot neglect one part of the process and expect to see results in the others.  They are reciprocal and interdependent themselves.  Covey says, “We deceive ourselves if we think that any one of these is sufficient” (306).  All of the habits are necessary for living a life with a proper P/PC balance.  Not one of them is sufficient for such a life on their own.

             Covey ends his book with a story that I appreciated very much given the relational growth that Tiffany and I have shared in lately.  He tells the story of his family’s year in Hawaii and the deep impact that he and his wife realized that their parents had on them.  Covey ends with family—a concept that has become so dear to me over the past six months.  As I have read and reflected through the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I have easily been able to apply these concepts to family life and to ministry.  I can see the clear value in renewal for family life.  When you are living day in and day out with a group of people who have high demands for you, you cannot neglect the power for filling the emotional bank accounts and taking time to maintain peace and clarity as a family.

            My application in ministry for this final section of the book comes in that unit as well.  I have realized recently that God has called me to be a certain number of things.  First, I am to be a follower of Christ—my relationship with the Father is at the top of the list as always.  Secondly, God has called me to be a godly husband in May.  I am certain of the fact that my first ministry is to my family.  An effective minister does not give rise to issues in his own personal life in order to maintain a ministry at a church.  We are the Church and therefore ministry cannot be contained in a building.  We minister first in our homes to our families.  The results of such a ministry will be magnanimous in the entire Body of Christ.  How much will our ministries suffer if we do not first minister to our spouses and our children?  It is my goal, therefore, to measure up to God’s calling on my life to serve as a minister at home and in the Church.

            “If you want to interact effectively with me,” Covey says, “to influence me…you need first to understand me.”  However, we give less time to truly attempting to understand people that we do to trying to fix them.  We will never succeed in being influential without first taking the steps to listen.  Covey suggests that effective listening in empathic listening.  Rather than seeking first to be understood we should seek first to understand, then to be understood.  Covey says that we do this most often by diagnosing people through our own experiences assuming that they are the same.  When we do this, though, we do not understand and we fail to take into account the uniqueness of every individual life (239).

            Understanding is essential in minister to kids.  Youth ministry is not tossing a bunch of anecdotes at your students and hoping they will turn out just like you in the end.  It is messy but it is not something that we should take lightly or haphazardly.  A youth minister who understands, who listens well and does not poke and prod but leads someone and lets them reveal things when they want to reveal them is most effective.  I hope that as a youth minister, my students see me as someone that they can come to with anything and who will listen to them.  It is essential to any form of counseling and ministry to connect where the people are.  If we are not listening, we are not connecting.  We are only diagnosing and probably exasperating people with our experiences with which they probably cannot relate.

            Personally, Tiffany and I have already found the value of empathic listening.  Empathic listening is active listening, but it is also so much more (240).  When Tiff and I went through our pre-marital counseling, we discussed this habit in the form of several exercises such as sharing withholds and reflecting feelings.  These activities were not set up as droning repetitions of what we were saying to one another but a dramatic rephrasing of conversation that eliminated blame and opened doors to deeper conversations where we discussed our feelings and listened intently with the hopes of deeper understanding.  There are times when we can bring things out into the open to be discussed with the goal of understanding one another and to be understood ourselves.

I believe that our marriage will benefit greatly from activities such as the rides that Covey talks about from his time in Hawaii.  It is an excellent idea to do these activities at least once a week.  A marriage can only grow deeper and become more rewarding as we grow deeper in understanding.  I know that when Tiff knows I understand her she feels loved.  When I am truly listening, she feels loved.  It is my goal, then, to be always willing and ready to listen and understand, as I know I should.

            Marriage leads me into habit 6—synergizing—because marriage is truly a deep synergy between a man and his wife when based on the correct principles.  Thinking Win/Win and seeking first to understand, then to be understood come to fruition when we synergize within our relationships.  Synergy is a beautiful thing that I believe God created us with the capacity to perform.  We grow and expand our minds and our strengths when we synergize.  “When you communicate synergistically, you are simply opening your mind and heart and expressions to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options.  It may seem as if you are casting aside habit 2…but, in fact, you’re doing the opposite—you’re fulfilling it” (264).  You start with the end in mind know when you synergize because you know that the product of more that one person will most likely be better than the product of one person—at least the proper principles of synergy are applied.

            As I said before, marriage is a synergy.  Looking at it from the standpoint of Habit 2 we can easily say that, if a man and his wife are synergistic in their marriage to one another, the result will be better than if they had not been married.  Personally, I believe that when Tiffany and I get married we will be much more effective, especially in ministry and someday raising children.  One person put it to me this way:  The knots in my head fit the bumps in hers.  We complete each other’s weaknesses when we synergize and together we move closer to God in our relationship.

            Ministry is another synergistic opportunity.  Ministry today is so much more effective when a synergistic team is involved rather than a lone ranger youth minister.  Being a lone ranger may seem gutsy at first, but in the end, it will only hurt the youth minister as he struggles for either creativity or time, or both.  Instead, we can synergize with some amazing people with talents that we do not have ourselves.  There is a reason why we are called the Body of Christ and why that metaphor is so true and powerful to us today.  We are all unique as God has created us, and we are all gifted wonderfully different as well.  When we allow people to come up with their own “job descriptions” and become proactive in ministry, beautiful things happen.  People come to Christ, the Church becomes unified, people burnout less, and I will not have to dread every youth staff meeting because people will have flexibility and will be exercising their strengths and using the gifts that God has given them when we synergize. 

Interdependence means that we are relational in a manner that builds both sides of the relationship. Therefore, we should maintain a proper balance within our relationships lest they not become volatile or broken. In doing so, Covey suggests that we will build effectiveness with the P/PC balance, “the fundamental concept in the story of the goose and the golden egg. In an interdependent situation, the golden eggs are the effectiveness, the wonderful synergy, the results created by open communication and positive interaction with other. And to get those eggs…we need to create and care for the relationships that make those results realities” (188).

Interdependence is filling others as they fill you, building each other up in order that we can relate better emotionally and create something bigger than ourselves but still reflecting good principled characters. How can we build there relationships then? Covey explains that each of our relationships has attached to it an emotional bank account, from which we can either make either deposits or withdrawals (188). We withdraw from the emotional bank account when we ask something of the other person, or perhaps when we must or choose to do something that goes against their wishes. What matters most in the emotional bank account is not necessarily what you perceive to be a deposit or a withdrawal, but what the other persons perceives them as.

Our everyday relationships necessitate that most deposits because “with continuing expectations, old deposits evaporate” (189). Covey suggests, “Your accounts with the people you interact with on a regular basis require more constant investment. There are sometimes automatic withdrawals in your daily interactions or in their perception of you that you don’t even know about. This is especially true with teenagers in the home” (189).

What is true for teenagers in the home will most certainly be true with teenagers in youth ministry. On top of that will be the people in the body with whom I will wish to relate and build trust as a minister. Applying the principal of the emotional bank account in ministry is essential, then. For example, if I am continually making withdrawals from my youth staff, I will have a hard time trying to convince them of the importance of events because they will only dread the weariness that comes from constantly going and never being refilled. In addition, if I am unwilling to build trust with the students in my ministry I cannot expect to be influential in leading them toward God’s Word.

In marriage and family, the concept permeates even more deeply. Building family ties and depositing into emotional bank accounts builds understanding and helps us avoid many conflicts that could tear us apart. If we make it a habit to overdraw the accounts, we lose influence with our own children and lose respect from our spouses. Many of the building techniques for the emotional bank account are included in Covey’s next section on habit four, thinking win/win.

Thinking win/win means that we refuse to shortchange anyone, including ourselves. Win/win saves us from remorse, disdain, and overdrawing on our emotional bank accounts when practiced regularly. When you think win/win, you are determining prior to ever making an agreement that both sides will be content with the results of whatever the agreement is. Covey says, “Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan” (207).

When we demand our relationships be mutually beneficial we open ourselves to all kinds of new synergies that have massive amounts of potential. Thinking win/win in youth ministry could mean using a person’s potential energy in a way that they see as fun and exciting in order to accomplish the mission of the Church. Win/win could play out as an agreement between church members that ends an argument rather starting one. How much energy have we spent on win/lose and lose/win only to prove to be frivolous and conflict-ridden? Instead, we could refuse to allow our relationships turn into losing ordeals for others as well as ourselves.

Personally, I would say that I have a tendency of giving into the temptation of lose/win. I have noticed that I can easily make myself the victim. I do not always do this intentionally, however I realize that I have control over my actions and that I can change them. I will think win/win in the future and intentionally build others up in my relationships without tearing myself down, or vice versa. It is my goal to stifle any attempts to allow relationships to turn sour in this many. It is either win/win or no deal. As Covey says, “When you have No Deal as an option in your mind, you feel liberated because you have no need to manipulate people, to push your own agenda, to drive for what you want. You can be open. You can really try to understand the deeper issues underlying the positions” (213). That is my wish for my relationships, that they become continually deeper.

The time has come for the habit that I struggle with most—putting first things first.  Since I have come to Lincoln Christian College, in fact since I have been in school, I have been a habitual and perpetual procrastinator.  My struggle is not always necessarily been a struggle between good priorities and bad priorities as much as it has been with filling my plate with good things and then continuing to fill my plate beyond what it is able to contain.  For example, this semester has proven to be my most challenging semester since I came to LCC.  I have written and read almost as much this semester as my last three semesters combined.  I have grown and I have focused more than I have in the past as well. 

Nevertheless, I am still cramming at the end to get everything done.  During a semester, which I thought I had planned leaving myself enough time, I failed at least in a small way.  How?  I took on more good things than I could handle.  In reflecting on this semester, I can see that I said yes to too many things such as work, extra serving at church, and too much leisure time spent at home.  Did I work hard this semester?  Of course!  However, in reflection, I can see that had I read Covey’s book early in the semester and perhaps implemented habit 3—putting first things first—perhaps I would be able to enjoy more of my Christmas break instead of typing a paper at midnight and wondering how I will get it all done.

From day one at LCC, I knew the applications of putting first things first.  I have yet to apply them fully, but I am making progress.  With my internship coming up I plan to fully implement and exercise what I believe to be congruent with the quadrants that Covey explains (151).  These quadrants, in order, are as follows: “important-urgent,” “important-not urgent,” not important-urgent,” and “not important-not urgent” (151).  First quadrant activities are usually not ignorable.  They demand attention and they are important, so I will obviously take care of those activities.  I believe that the fourth quadrant is the easiest for me to avoid.  As I get older, and especially after reading about the seven habits, I have found that is much easier for me to avoid wasting time on unimportant things that simply add to my procrastination. 

The third quadrant, however, is where my struggle is.  This is where I would categorize the things that have taken up most of my time that I now need back this semester.  These are the good things that are not necessarily important to me but for some reason I say “yes” to.  It is my goal, then to avoid these activities when I can.  That has become much easier for me after reading Covey’s book.  It has also become much easier for me to live within quadrant two.  This, I would say, is where I “work ahead.”  I simply wish I had put the paradigm into practice earlier this semester.

As I stated in my reflection on proactivity, it will not be easy to become proactive on my time management skills.  In fact, I will probably fail at first.  I know I can do it though.  I know I can beat the procrastinator within me and become more effective in what I do by using proper time management tools and practicing preventative quadrant two measures.  It is important to me that in ministry, avoid quadrant four activities simply by not wasting my time on unproductive things.  It is also important to my family life as I am planning to get married.  Wasting time is simply not an option, not is saying “yes” to too many good things.  Putting first things first is prioritizing.  My priorities are much clearer to me after reading Covey.  It is important for me to realize that if I am saying “yes” to something unimportant to my mission, I am essentially saying “no” to something most important such as my wife or even my God.

Covey divides his 7 habits into three sections.  Habits one through three make up the areas of private victory while habits four through six make up the areas of public victory.  Finally, the paradigm is completed and contained by sharpening the saw—habit seven.  Habits 1 and 2—being proactive and beginning with the end in mind then are areas that affect the inside of the person.  The inside of the person, as we learn quickly, is what controls the outside.  What is at our center is what will control the actions that we produce (122).  Therefore, the first two habits are equally important and foundational within the paradigm of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Being proactive is a habit that affects our reactions to stimuli.  Covey submits with the proactive model that there lies a freedom of choice in between the stimuli attempting to affect our responses (71).  This freedom to choose means that we alone are able to choose how we will respond to stimuli.  We act in spite of our environments, our genetics, and our friends because, although we “are still influenced by external stimuli, whether physical, social, or psychological,” we are able to make choices based on our values rather than our emotions or other various stimuli (72).  That principle-centeredness will come into play and connect proactivity with the second habit of beginning with the end in mind, which I will discuss later, as well.

Being proactive applies widely in life and in ministry.  True ministry is only an extension of what is inside of us—of the actions in which we choose to take part.  Certainly, God should be our number one influence.  However, we have the ability to choose between what is godly and ungodly.  Otherwise, there would be no mistakes in ministry and I would not need to be discussing most of the things that could go wrong in my ministry if I were to leave it up to whatever reactions come from within me.  Therefore, we must choose, and choose wisely, how we will respond to stimuli in ministry.  I would hope that my first reactions would be godly reactions.  However, I can ensure and strengthen my ability to respond in a godly fashion by centering myself upon God’s Word, prayer, and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

It is much the same in life.  Applying proactivity to your life is difficult because it is so easy simply to give in to stimuli.  For example, it is easier to answer sharply and attempt to end a conversation with someone when they are rude or confrontational than to hear their side of the argument and attempt to find a middle ground approach that is win/win.  It is easier to continue eating than to exercise will power and stop before you are miserably full.  It is easier to give in to temptation than to stand up underneath of it, to give it up to God confessing your sins and temptations to your brothers and sisters until they are no longer temptations.  Instead, proactivity pays off in the end usually and rarely can we find ease in it in the here and now unless we look forward to those lasting benefits.  Proactivity is an everyday struggle (at least for me).  It takes time—a lifetime, in fact—but is the only perceivable way that I have found thus far that allows us to rise above our upbringings and the every day stimuli that cause us to be lived rather than living.

            Proactivity is a way of rewriting the things that we can rewrite within our circles of influence (83).  However, proactivity is worthless without focus and a goal in mind.  With no guide to focus proactive energy in the right direction, we are hard-pressed to see positive results from our proactivity.  This is where habit 1 and habit 2, beginning with the end in mind, come into play with one another.  Beginning with the end in mind asks of us, “What would we have be the result of our proactivity?”  What determines the end, then, is that which is at our center.  As Covey suggests, “Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power” (109). 

For me, as a follower of Christ, in as far as my center is in God’s Word and the teachings of Christ, I would say that, generally, beginning with the end in mind means living a life that is Christ-like.  Covey believes that “principle-centeredness” is the proper way to center ourselves, saying “By centering our lives on correct principles, we create a solid foundation for development of the four life-support factors (security, guidance, wisdom, and power) (122).  I have no doubt that my principles should be at the center of my paradigm.  But at the center of  my principles would be Jesus’ teachings.  I do not think that Covey is trying to lead us away from Jesus.  I simply believe that what he has in mind is something more general.  It cannot be above Christ because Christ is above all.  I do not mean to be critical, only to define my own principles, as Covey would have me do. 

As man, a soon-to-be husband, a son, a Christian, and a minister I define myself with Christ.  At my center is Jesus, not simply a principle but the Prince of Peace.  My security is in his blood—in knowing that I am saved by his faithful grace through his death burial and resurrection.  My guidance is in his teaching—the word of God—which is also where my wisdom is found.  My wisdom also comes from his Holy Spirit that also happens to guide me (guidance and wisdom both being related in my own understanding).  Finally, my strength and power is in God.  Inasmuch as I am able, God has enabled me.

It is not my intent to change the focus of the 7 habits, merely to focus them for my own purposes.  I believe I can appropriate the first two habits within a biblical paradigm without compromising them.  However, I would much rather compromise Covey’s teachings than those of Jesus.  I do not mean to sound arrogant, merely proactive and to begin with the end in mind.  I wish to proactively choose to place the Word of God at my center and to aim for living a God-honoring life as a follower of Christ and a minister.

            As a minister, if I am not generous with all that I have I would consider myself ineffective.  I would be hard-pressed to think of a situation in which I could be unable to give generously to those who need more than I do.  If I ever find myself in that situation, I hope I will count myself as blessed by trials.  I hope that I will only find ways to bless others out of the blessings that God has given me.  It is not a matter of a tithe or any certain percentage, at least as far as my understanding of Jesus’ teaching goes.  Rather, at the root of the matter is a question of the heart:  Are we generous or are we greedy?  Will we give and be a blessing or will we refrain and stop one?  With the measure we measure it will be measured to us.  If we are generous and willing to give, how much more will God be generous with us?  Or, perhaps, how much more has God already given to us?  Therefore, I can find no reason not to be generous when I am able and when I see a need for generosity.  It is my hope and prayer that God will open my eyes to see such needs; open my heart to care for such needs; and open my hands to eliminate such needs where God has so enable me.

I will begin with the over-arching idea found in Covey’s work—turning inside out and developing the character first. I would say (and I believe others would agree) that I am a man of character. Character is of great importance to me, especially when dealing with others. However, it is often difficult to realize the latitude of importance that my own character has. I believe that I sometimes forget that my character is something I should build up, recharged, and realigned with what God wants me to be. If anything, Covey has brought that realization back to the front of my mind. For example, Covey explains that the way we look at things has a great deal to do with how we will react to things and how we will live our lives. Our paradigms do not necessarily control who we are but they do significantly alter how we choose to be. Actions are just as much attitudinal as they are anything else (23).

I have to admit that I have learned about attitude, actions, and character in my pre-marital sessions this summer. Tiffany and I learned that what could ruin a marriage quickly is not how much you fight, but rather how you fight. In other words, taking things personally, blaming, and taking shots are ineffective ways to communicate. They will only lead to more conflict and potentially feelings being hurt. Those emotional wound can then build up until they explode. Covey would say that a much better paradigm would be to strive for good character and build that relationship rather than simply trying to enjoy the benefits without putting forward the effort as in the fable of the golden eggs (52).

The balance between production and production capability is certainly the area that I struggle with most. I am notorious for working late and neglecting myself for the sake of getting more stuff done. My vices mostly consist of overbooking my time, procrastinating, and neglecting my own health including sleep, exercise, and healthy food to get work done. In the past, I have played video games, watched movies, and gone on senseless road trips instead of using my time more wisely. I can honestly say that I have significantly, almost completely cut down on those things this semester and I have accomplished more this semester than I ever could have had I spent more times with things like those.

That sounds well and good and I have even patted myself on the back for that accomplishment. However, what cost has it come at? I have also failed to fill my own tanks this semester as much as I could have. I ate out excessively. I did not make it to the gym once. I have not lost as much sleep this semester luckily. In reflection, I still do not have the seven habits down and that I why this book is important for me to read. It can save me a few years down the road from neglecting things—either my own health or my family—when things are coming to crunch time in ministry.

That being said, it is easy for me to see where these natural principals that Covey lists and the ideas that he has mention thus far in the reading would apply elsewhere in my life—especially in ministry. For example, the idea of turning the inside out and is paramount for incarnational ministry as is being interdependent. Teamwork is essential in ministry today because without teamwork we simply become overrun in the details—or sacrifice the details altogether for the “goose eggs” that bring instant gratification (such as just trying to be the “cool” youth minister that does nothing but play games and never actually relates to kids). It is easy to overlook seemingly minute parts of life, especially in ministry. That goes for small administrative tasks in ministry as well as for the youth minister himself. I could easily see myself burning out if I failed to sharpen the saw continually.

It is hard to look at youth ministry as I would look at a lawn mower, but as I consider it more, I can see that there are some aspects of minister that are considered maintenance work. The production/production capability balance (54- 59) is applicable in ministry. We minister from within ourselves and not necessarily from our personalities. It is true that skill and personality play a significant role in ministry, but my character and relationship with God is abundantly more important. Indeed, it is from within my soul and my relationship with God that I will minister.

I could easily continue with applications, but I believe that in reading the rest of the book I will understand these concepts better and grasp the applications in both ministry and my life. The overarching idea of the book thus far seems to be that we are more than who we are on the outside—who people think we are. Rather, how we think and how we see—our paradigm–greatly influences what we do. If we can base that paradigm on solid natural principles, we will notice changes for the better in our everyday lives. We will relate better. We will learn better. We will minister better. That is the goal of learning the seven habits.

Keep in mind, these are papers that I have written quite quickly and without reading the book, some of the stuff might seem confusing.  I would encourage anyone to read the book, it is easy to read and I truly believe that it can be applied by anyone.  For those of you who have read the book, please understand that I writing these as I go and they are my reflections on the book.  I will probably put my own spin on a lot of it.

Anyway, let me know what you think.  Converse with me.  I’ll try to comment back when I can.  The first paper will be in my next post in a few minutes.  Until then, enjoy and as always, peace and God bless.

After we got back home my day got even better when I checked my email and found out that I got an internship!!!  I’m super excited about this one too.  It is at a huge church (scary stuff but I know God wants me there) and it is only about 75 miles from home so I will be able to see Tiff more than if I were to go further away.  Again, I’m REALLY excited about this one because I think it is where God wants me.  I wish I had more to tell you all about but I’ll just have to keep you informed as I work out the details with my field mentor and Rondel.

Now on the the bad (which I must remind myself that God is in control of as well).  For those who do not know, my grandma (Mom’s mom) has breast cancer.  We just found out a few weeks about it and they decided to start her on chemo already to try to shrink the tumor so they can operate.  The whole things sucks, to be totally brutal and honest.  I hate it, it makes me angry, it makes me sick that such a sweet, caring (and I’m not just saying that because she is my grandma) woman has to go through this crap.  I think the hardest thing about cancer for me is that it seems to be such a roulette type disease.  I mean, do we even understand it, really?  It scares me, honestly.  Not only am I worried about my grandma, but I worry about Mom, about my sister, about my whole family (including myself).

But…I know that, in the end, God is in control of it all.  He’s in control of my good news and my bad news.  He’s in control of everything.  He can heal cancer, he can teach us to love.  There is a whole month’s worth of blogging here but to sum it up, I want to learn… I want to read and study by Bible until I find out the answer to this question that I have about healing.  I know God can heal, but will He always heal?  I don’t know what to say to a sick person when it seems to them that God doesn’t hear their prayers.  I want to know how to answer someone who says you’re a fool if you have faith that God will heal you.  I don’t want every question answered, just for God to guide me in this so that when I am in ministry I know where he has guided me.  So that is where I am at.  I am convinced that the only thing that I can do in this situation is show my grandma the kind of love that God wants me too and pray fervently every day for God to heal her of this disease.  And that’s just what I’ve been doing.  Tiffany and I pray for her everyday, expecting God to change reality (yes I said it and I will continue to say it boldly until I am lead to say otherwise through Scripture).  That’s what I learned today.  Love and believe in expectation that God is going to do something great.  I’ll keep trying if you will.

Peace, love, and God’s blessings to all of you…